Burt Michaels

Basic Info
Age - 72 Height - 5'8"

Weight - 154 pounds

Hair Color - Balding/Orange

Unknown Origins
The story of Burt is a difficult one to tell, as no one man knows the complete story.

Some say Burt was not a man at all, but rather an old donkey that the Gods had enchanted to become a human as a joke, but in doing so accidentally passed on their godly powers, making him immortal.

Some say Burt was a hermit living alone in the grassy hills of Cyrodiil that decided to take up martial arts and in doing so, became a fighting master.

Others say that Burt was a bitter man who hated all races that turned to physical fighting so that he could eradicate them by his own.

But others seem to think that all of these stories are true.

Marriage and Offspring
Burt gained the attraction of the goddess Dibella during his exploration of the land. His strong nature and stone-like demeanor made him lusted after by the goddess to the point where copulation was inevitable.

Or, she could have just wanted to see what fucking an old man would be like - I mean, she was pretty fucking obsessed with getting laid, she probably tried anything once.

However, this was no mere quick one night stand, as after they were finished, it soon became apparent that Dibella was pregnant with the child of Burt. Initially, Burt, wanting to avoid paying child support for an immortal child that would never end, panicked and did not know how to handle the situation. However, realizing that the goddess's followers often made money tributes to the goddess herself, decided to stay with her and raised the boy to become the greatest warrior in all of Tamriel. Following Dibella's instructions, Burt then followed the path to enlightenment, and when the boy, Vurt, became of age, ascended to godhood and left his son to carry on the Michaels family legacy.

Rivalry with Fluffy Sackson
Burt has a great disdain for the legendary wizard, Fluffy Sackson. He believes that Fluffy would not have won in their multiple physical encounters had Fluffy not used his "Church's Chicken Run-Like-A-Lil-Bitch spell and his hand zapping things". He views Fluffy as a pompous and unpleasant person, believing himself to be superior as he glances down on "us hardworking pure white folk" from his tower in the Jerall Mountains.